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One of the biggest problems in counseling is dealing with money. Almost every person has problems with money. Our wisdom for people is to seek wise council from counselors that carry the expertise in handling money.
Also we recommend that you don’t get financial advice from family members, close friends, or co-workers when it comes to making money decisions. One thing my father told me when I was about 15yrs old was this. When you get paid or earn any kind of income you always tithe 10% to your local Church, first, then give 10% to your savings account and live on the remaining 80%.
I have never met a person in my entire life that has applied this principle and has not been totally blessed and lacked for anything. Another principle to remember is that you can’t out give God. There is no way that God will hold back his blessing to a cheerful giver. I challenge you to try and out give God. Now when it comes to debt we believe that debt destroys all people.
Our best advice is to not have any debt. The only debts that we believe to have are the following. A personal mortgage loan. Mortgage loans with a low fixed interest rate and with a short time in duration is the only way to go. Meaning a 10-year or 15 year fixed rate loan is much better than a 30 year fixed rate loan. You also should make principle payments during the year to pay off the mortgage loan faster. Stay away from adjustable rate mortgages and interest only mortgages. These are dangerous loans and will cause you much pain later on.
Student loans for education is risky but is ok if the person has no other sources available to them. Be very careful when it comes to federal debts. When owing money to the federal government know that they have the power to seize bank accounts, garnish your pay check, take any income tax return money that is owed to you, they can take any real-estate that you own and the list go on and on. Have extreme judgment when it comes to student loans. Debt concerning car loans is not a good idea, however if you must borrow money for a car make sure you check out leasing verses buying. Leasing is only a good idea if you are self-employed or a 1099 person and can write off the entire lease. Do your homework well before buying any car.
Try buying slightly used cars that have already been depreciated by someone else. You can save thousands of dollars by buying a car several years old with low mileage. Again try to make the term short and pay off the car as quickly as possible. Any debt concerning credit cards, furniture loans, personal loans etc. is not recommended.
Marriages and money, how to spend money and not get into trouble with your spouse. Example is if one spouse wants to buy something but the other spouse doesn’t agree, big problems are heading your way. When you are married you now are two and not one. All financial matters must be discussed and agreed on prior to any money being spent. One of the rules in our house is the $100.00 rule. Meaning either one of us can spend up to $100.00 on anything we want, period no questions asked. But when the amount reaches over $100.00 dollars we must discuss the issue with our spouse and get their blessing in advance before buying or spending any money over $100.00.
If you are rich and or make a ton of money the $100 rule could be much higher.
This has saved us and many other marriages a lot of problems and arguments concerning money. Many couples need to discuss who is the better money person. In my marriage my wife handles money better than I do. So she pays all the bills and keeps up with all the monthly obligations. We agreed to this and it works, perfectly. Money doesn’t have to be a problem at all.
Let’s discuss money issues a little bit more . . .
When money problems arise in marriages here are some things to think about. In today’s marriages it’s critical to communicate clearly how each person feels about how money will be earned and spent. When you get married both spouses must agree on the kinds of careers each person wants to work in or around.
Let’s say a husband or wife wants to be in sales for example and the employer requires a lot of traveling meaning being away from the home all the time both spouses in advance better agree to this before ever accepting the job. Also the job might require having dinner/lunch or meetings in bars or restaurants with the opposite sex daily, causing even more possible trouble in the marriage. There have been many problems in relationships because one of the spouses accepted an employment position that was not agreed on by the other spouse and jealously became an issue.
Protect your marriage. Talk to your spouse about how they feel about the kind of profession and employer they work for now or might want to work in. Here is another money issue that might come up. Careers where some of the income is based on commission. Straight commission jobs or draws against commission instead of a straight salary job can cause many problems in a marriage. Make sure that your entire household budget is based on the salary or draw only and is not based on a possible commissions.
Marriage has enough stress already why add to it if you don’t have to. Discuss this in great detail with your spouse prior to making any decisions. If both spouses are paid 100% straight commission this could be a big mistake. Let’s also talk about the required hours and days worked for an employer.
If there are children already in the marriage or children are coming or you are in a new marriage you might want to think about the set hours of the job. A normal 8-5 job Monday-Friday would be an ideal employer to work for if the marriage is new or children are involved. Can you imagine if one of the spouses is never at home at regular hours? You talk about problems starting quickly. We understand that things do happen like a spouse is called to the military suddenly or the employer changes the job title or requirements of your current job or temporary jobs must be taken. However you need to have wisdom on how this change will affect your marriage. Have strong communication with your spouse when this happens so that the enemy doesn’t come in and destroy your marriage.
As mentioned earlier determine who is going to control and pay the bills monthly. You can have a joint checking account where both partners deposit there pay checks and both can share in the paying of bills but it’s easier if one person keeps up with the monthly bills. As you can see that in all areas of money spouses must be in agreement and a lot of discussions must be done before buying houses, cars, taking vacations, buying clothes, jewelry anything. You can save yourself a lot of grief by just getting your partners blessing in advance before you buy something. If you are having problems with money in your life please call or email us you issues. We can easily resolve any king of situation that you may be faced with.